REVIEW: The Week Of

I will admit that in my teenage years I enjoyed and laughed at some Adam Sandler movies.  I saw The Water Boy and Mr. Deeds in theatre.  They were good enough times for thoughtless laughs, but the problem was that I grew up and matured, the films from Adam Sandler remained the same.  There was no evolution to the Adam Sandler movie, no growth and development.  It was always just the exact same thing, over and over.

There are certain things that you can be sure you will come across in a Sandler film.  Him yelling for an extended period of time happens a lot.  That's where the comedy is.  There will also be children doing shocking things.  Add in some interesting views of foreigners and taking some entertainment around people who look different.  A lot of times it can be mean-spirited humour, and will always involve some sort of toilet joke.

After having a string of horrible Sandler experiences from his deal with Netflix, I was completely blown away with his latest film, The Week Of.  Now, when I say that I was blown away, I don't mean that the movie was good.  I mean the movie didn't seem as nasty as other attempts, although the common trappings of a Sandler film were still there, just framed a little differently.  Know for sure that this movie is still immature and crude, and, unfortunately, lacking jokes.

The movie is about Kenny Lustig (Sandler) who is about to see his daughter married.  Because of his humble existence, Lustig feels threatened by the father of the groom, Kirby Cordice (Chris Rock), and tries to manage the wedding on his own with his limited finances.  As the film develops there is supposedly some sort of arc to the two fathers that we suddenly learn about in one scene near the end of the film.  With the tension wrapped up, for some reason there is still twenty minutes left.  This felt like a bad decision by director Robert Smigel as it was a bloated portion of the film and didn't add anything.  By the time the credits rolled, I was understanding that this was supposed to have some sort of maturity because of character development, but adding two scenes at the end of a meandering movie doesn't make it story telling.

While this flick had many problems, I didn't feel as though I was completely insulted or offended by it.  I was disappointed when I saw that there was a character that didn't have any legs, and I was preparing for that person to be made fun of.  Instead, oddly enough, it lead to what may have been the only joke in the film that had a set up.  There were other elements of Sandler films in there, such as a kid giving the finger, a cartoony portrayal of a foreigner, and a joke that was simply someone having to poop.  This was, by no means, a movie where I was laughing along with it.

It says a lot when I am blown off my feet that a movie didn't insult the viewer and offend.  That's not the bar that they should be shooting for.  Time has come and gone, but Sandler remains very much the same.  His Happy Madison productions are scripts that feel tossed together with massive amounts of product placement and endless, meaningless cameos.  It is so damned frustrating.  Adam Sandler is so extremely talented.  He has shown it, but only every now and then.  Seeing him in films like The Meyerowitz Stories is a testament to what he is capable of.  Sadly, he seems content throwing out movies that are more rambling sessions than stories, looking towards bodily evacuations to get a laugh.  It is hard seeing these flaccid efforts when I believe, and I truly do believe this, that with some effort and discipline he could land a performance that gets an Oscar nom.  Yes, I do think he has it in him, which makes sitting through these films all the more difficult.

Rating - 1.5 out of 4 stars

Adam Sandler May Once Again Ruin My Life

And so it sets upon me, emerging from the darkest craters of the streaming landscape and rising high, blocking out the sun, blocking out the very essence of hope, and blanketing my life with an unescapable shadow.  Mortality cannot save me from this fate, a promise of peers, a promise that rests on me the albatross.  Without ability to inhale, all constricts my shell, bringing me down to the bare framework of existence and beckoning my lack of certainty in identity and fate.  I am a victim of that which I have fed myself, the beast that I let loose to destroy and tear asunder.  Weeping and gnashing of teeth...

Yep, it is the time of year to review Netflix's annual Adam Sandler movie, The Week Of.  Ever since he entered into the unholy union with the streaming giant I have had to watch and review a new Adam Sandler film since December 11, 2015.  It kicked off with The Ridiculous 6, which I gave a very rare zero star rating.  The movie did everything it could do to snag that rating, and it wasn't the fist Happy Madison to get the zero star.  Bucky Larson nailed that one.  In 2016, it was the action comedy The Do-Over.  I think it may have had action, but I can assure you that it did not have comedy.  Half star for that one.  And last year it was Sandy Wexler.  While my podcast co-host Christopher gave it a massive two stars (thanks to the performance from Jennifer Hudson, who I agreed was magnetic), I could only be bothered to give this incredibly annoying character, along with Rob Schneider once again giving us a racially stereotypical performance, half a star.  Three films and a cumulative score of one star out of four.

This isn't something new to Netflix.  Sandler has been delivering a mean-spirited brand of comedy for a long time, settling for scripts that make the third Austin Powers movie look like a revelation.  My favourite of his movies lately was Pixels, but we can thank Peter Dinklage for that.  Every now and then we get a reminder that he is actually super talented when he blesses us with performances like he did in Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected).  Leading into the deal with Netflix, Sandler had put out near offensive efforts acting or writing in movies like Jack and Jill, and Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star.

I really don't want to write Sandler off, but he has an absolutely horrid track record.  His films go for the easiest jokes possible, rely on cameos to a level similar to Zoolander 2, insults people who look different, and includes Herculean product placements and advertisements for companies.  I'm not asking for anything sophisticated.  I enjoy goofy humour, but it needs to be based off of something.  It can't just be scenes with kids peeing on things or kids swearing.  That's not a joke in itself, yet Sandler treats it that way.  His sense of humour is so base that native American actors left the set of Ridiculous 6.  It is also the sense of humour that had Schneider in brown face for some reason in that movie.

It could be my own fault that I have to watch and review the latest Sandler movie.  I may have said that all Netflix originals would be reviewed for The Movie Breakdown podcast.  I obviously wasn't thinking about what exactly that would mean at the time.  I want Sandler to prove me wrong.  He has the ability to do so, but he doesn't seem to put forth the effort when an easy stroll is all that's needed to fulfill his obligations.  I must do what I need to, and I hope that I will have a good time.  History tells me that the odds are against me.  I am thinking the run time will make a mockery of me and I will lose part of my sanity in this endeavour.

REVIEW: The Do-Over

As I sit here htikning about writing a review for Adam Sandler's latest film, The Do-Over, I figured that I would put the sae attention into the quality of the review as they put into the making of the film.  That means what I write is what I write..  No going back and editing things, leaving the mess where it lies and expecting that it will be good enough for general consumption.  That seems to be the approach that director Steven Brilll put into it, so it is the same effort that the review will get.  I would apologize about the spelling and grammar mistakes, but since there is no apology forthcoming from the makers of the film, I will follow suit.

The movie is about two best friends of former years who meet at a hgighschool reunion.  We have the geeky bank manager, Charlie (David Spade), and Max (Adam Sandler) who we will quickly come to understand is just  a bit of a dick.  Well, that is an understatement.  He is a giant knob.  Much like other Sandler movies, he pays someone who just isn't that relatable.  This is the case with Max, as he is a self-centred bucket of mean spirit, which is a good summary for the film proper.

With adam Sandler movies, you can generally make a list of things that you will expect to see and then check them off as they happen.  Will there be meanness towards children?  Check.  Will there be urniation jokes?  Check, there is urination sprayed everywhere.  Will there be massturbation jokes?  you betcha.  Will it make fun of people who look different?  Yeppers.

This is the problem with his films (or one of the problems with his films): they cater to the lowest of juvenile humour and do so in the same repeated ways.  Essentially it feels like if you have seen one of his recent films, you have seen them all.  There appears to be no effort really put into them, and that is something that netflix should be conscernded with.  They have an exclusive movie deal with Sandler, and so far what hwe have gotten is The Ridiculous 6 and this current pile of misguided humour in The Do-Over.

I suppose I have not talked at all about the plot, but what would be the point of that?  As the movie rolls along the plot becomes more convoluted and dumber with each sequence.  I am already writing at a dumbed down level right now, and I don't want to sink any deeper in the abyss that I have tread.

If you were looking for meaningful analysis about this movie, I am sorry but that is just not going to happen.  I have more important things to do right now, such as cut my fingernails.  Seriously, they are clicking on the keys of my laptop right now and it is driving me insane.  I should also pet my cat and then clean the litter box, in that order specifically.  Little John McClane does not need to have my sweaty, litter spattered fingers running through his bad-ass coat.

If you are a fan of Adam Sandler movies as a whole, I am sure you will like The Do-Over.  It is billed as action/comedy, although, if you ask me (and in a way you did by reading this), there is too little of either element to stick it in either genre.  If things like homophobic gags and scenes with sweaty testicles are not your thing, then you can just forget about watching this movie.

REVIEW: Kung Fury

Trapped in the mind of every cinema-freak man child of the 1980s movie scene is a kaleidoscope of tropes, scenes, and sequences that typified the decade but never dared to pair along side one another in a single film.  Well the impossible has now come to life in David Sandberg's Kickstarter funded short film, Kung Fury.  It may only clock in at half an hour, but it is more homage packed and crammed full of action than anything from the library of Chuck Norris.  That's right, I went there.

Sandberg stars in the film as a cop who has been imbued with ancient Kung Fu powers after being simultaneously struck by lightning and bitten by a cobra.  He fulfills the long held prophecy as the one who will bring the most awesome techniques of the martial art into form, and the mean streets of Miami are all the safer because of it.  He must deal with having a new partner as well as travelling too far back in time, to an era where raptors shoot lasers out of their eyes, to conquer the biggest threat to both Kung Fu and society.

While the film is a complete joke, it is a joke with terrific energy and a great example on the micro scale of correct story telling.  The whole thing is a gimmick, and the smartest side of Sandberg comes out in never playing on one gag for two long and maximizing the script for the half hour run time.  There was a hope that it would be created into a feature film if it had gathered one million dollars from its Kickstarter campaign, but I think missing that mark was to its benefit.  Keep the jokes and references quick, keep them concise, and then cram the audience in a Lamborghini Countach and launch us towards the next one.

It is this precision that not only makes the film keep from getting stale, but makes it watchable.  After the first few gags, while I did most hearty a chuckle, I wondered if it was possible for it to keep it up for a half hour without me getting bored.  Most definitely it does, is the answer.  Heads explode, Thor wields awesome pectorals, and vikings ride giant wolves while carrying mini-guns.

There is also a charisma to the performance of Sandberg's that keeps it interesting.  He plays a cop that is a loose cannon and is too cool for school, talking in the menacing monotone voice that was popularized by Clint Eastwood.  It's not particularly easy to mimic that style and still have personality.  Just look as far as Adam Sandler's performance in The Ridiculous 6 to see how easy it is to cock up such a style and make it boring as hell.

If you don't lay in bed at night dreaming of all the cliches of 1980s cinema, mostly the love for cop movies and martial arts films, then there is a decent chance that you may ask what the hell was so special about Kung Fury.  It is probably best to just take a pass on it, if that sounds like you.  However, if the trailer posted below revs your engine to the redline of excitement, then get off your ass and check out the movie.  I promise that you won't be disappointed.

Rating - 3.5 out of 4 stars

Zookeeper

When settling into the very first scene of Zookeeper, I was actually quite shocked at the number of times that I felt giggles escaping my lips.  Normally with a Happy Madison production (the Adam Sandler founded production company), I spend 75% of the time groaning, and the remaining 25% of my time looking back and trying to establish exactly what butterfly flapped its wings that lead to the chain of events which incited my willingness to view the movie.  I was delightfully surprised that the feel of the intro felt very different in tone to what I had expected, and instantly had hope that this movie could be one that would win me over, against any skepticism that I had when I entered it.

Just like the forces of gravity dictate, I was soon pulled back down to the terrestrial realm of earth and reality when the movie then established a very familiar style and humour found in other like films.  Silliness is the name of the game with this type of film, but it is most often a silliness that is void of much thought and wit.  As I reached the ten minute point of the movie, I was sure of exactly where it would go and was rolling my eyes at a lot of failed attempts at humour.

The film is about Griffin (Kevin James), a man who works as a zookeeper, a profession which this film portrays as one that grown men would not have.  I am not sure this would be the reality, because I could not see such an important job being entrusted to the less than capable hands of teenagers and young adults who are still adjusting to the crazy new hormones that their bodies are introducing them to.  It made me think a bit about The Weather Man, which showed the disdain people had towards television meteorologists (there are some great scenes of Nicolas Cage being shellacked with food products), but that theme seemed to fit a bit better in that film.

As Griffin deals with the relationship issues of what a ‘grown man’ goes through, he contemplates leaving the zoo, something the animals seem none too keen about.  They hold court and decide to help him out.  He soon has to deal with a number of different animals talking in English to him, and giving him advice on how to properly secure a mate.  While a number of the animal characters held no humour at all, there were some moments where I, once again, found the sounds of laughter escaping me.  Thrown in amongst the sea of whimsical refuse were a scant few moments of fun.  I would never go as far to say that it ventured into the land of hilarity, but it is what it is.

James was good enough in this role, although it is not the type that is able to showcase his comedic abilities.  A number of the comedic attempts just felt easily anticipated as well as being dumbed down a considerable amount.  Assisting with a solid performance, and not in the film enough, was Nat Faxon who never seems to get the shine he deserves.  Joe Rogan also appeared and was able to make me laugh a number of times as he played the ex-boyfriend of Griffin’s ex-girlfriend, an egotistical centre of attention if ever there was one.

A long list of celebrities showed up to voice the animals at the zoo, which were, for the most part, animated fairly well to give the appearance of them talking.  I would imagine that for a budget of $80 million (a large budget for a comedy, but not for a Happy Madison comedy) you would expect such things.  On the topic of Happy Madison, the movie did have, of course, a very blatant element of corporate advertising as the grumpy gorilla (voiced by Nick Nolte) seemed really intrigued about the great experience that was TGI Fridays.  Luckily for him, and the audience, we got to see an actual location shoot at a TGI Fridays as Griffin takes the gorilla there to celebrate his birthday.  You gotta love product placement  Still, it was not as jarring as the mid-movie commercial for Royal Caribbean in the middle of Adam Sandler’s Jack and Jill (which also, of course, had other products it was pumping, such as Dunkin’ Donuts).

My obvious distaste for the advertisement-filled tactics of Happy Madison movies aside, Zookeeper entertained me more than I had anticipated.  You will not find anything new here, as the film treads over a sadly tried and true formula that Sandler- produced films always adopt.  It is not an earthshattering movie, but it also is not as bad as Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star or any of the other movies that have been pumped out by Happy Madison.  After saying all of that, it still is not a great movie, and the amount of good in it comes nowhere close to countering the amount of bad that you will have to endure.

Rating – 1.5 out of 4 stars

Jack and Jill

I don't think I have reviewed enough comedies, so today I thought I would like to continue the trend by reviewing Jack and Jill (which is now on Netflix), a movie that claims comedy status, but really just floats around in the void of cinematic nothingness.  If you are a fan of all things Adam Sandler and all things related to him, and do not like hearing negative criticisms of his projects, then now is a good time to stop reading and write me an email telling me what makes you tick, because I don't understand you.  I do think he has a lot of talent, but it just not seem to push its way into his movies these days.  As I type this review, I plan to talk about one good aspect of the film, and it has nothing to do with Mr Sandler.

The film is about Jack (Adam Sandler), who is a director of commercials.  This is the perfect roll for an Adam Sandler film, as it allows 'seamless' product placement and name dropping, something which I think his films have an affinity towards.  We get to, in totally organic and non-nauseating ways, have planted in our brains the brand names of Hooters, Dunkin Donuts (I lost count of how many times this one was mentioned and is a plot point), Pepto Bismol, Hilton, Sony, Price is Right, eHarmony, Match.com, Subway, Radio Shack, ShamWow, and Royal Caribbean Cruises (who actually get a full length commercial in the film).  He needs to land Al Pacino for Dunkin Donuts, who want to put him in a Dunkin Donuts commercial, and if he fails to get Pacino he loses the Dunkin Donuts account, as threatened by the Dunkin Donuts people.  He also has a sister named Jill (Adam Sandler), whom he plays in such a base and humourless way that I was left astonished at how this got greenlit.  Possibly because his production company made it.

I may be the only person out there who did not find this film funny.  If you are a  fan of such witty humour that includes fart jokes, a bird named Poopsy, animal abuse jokes, laughing at girls with hairy armpits, sweaty sheets and other sweat stain styled humour, making fun of homeless people, ladies getting punched in the face by young boys, making fun of Mexican stereotypes (hey look, a Mexican gardener), making fun of people who are slightly larger than thin/fat people, concussions, crushing a pony, public fart jokes, Indian stereotypes, earwax jokes, urine jokes, making fun of how Mexicans name their children, illegal immigrant jokes (Mexican related), making fun of people with funny faces, elderly people getting hit in the face with shoes and/or bats, Mexicans love jalapenos, gassy stomachs, diarrhea and much louder farts than we have been acquainted with previously in the film, then this movie is a comic gold mine.  For the rest of the population, it is a movie that makes fun of people, and those are the jokes.

Now, I did laugh a few times, and that was mostly around Al Pacino.  He was an extremely good sport, and portrayed a pretty messed up version of himself.  Not only did he go along with it, but he completely threw himself into the role and held nothing back, creating a performance that was entertaining to watch and had some fun in a movie that was otherwise void of humour (actually, I should admit there were two non-Pacino moments that I had a subtle laugh at).  Johnny Depp has a small part as well, and does what he can to make it entertaining.

That's all I have.  If you are looking for something insightful from me, then I need to have insightful content to review.  It is a pretty mean spirited movie that thrives on stereotypes and toilet humour without energy or wit to make it work.  There is nothing smart or touching about this film, although we do get many a moment when the sappy music starts up to let us know that we are supposed to be feeling emotions other than the self-loathing that we are cemented in on account of pressing the play button on this film.  Life is about making the most of our time on this earth, so please spend an hour and a half doing that instead of watching this film.

Rating - 0.5 out of 4 stars