The Blog has Technical Difficulties, and I review The Vow

So, yesterday my computer decided that it was time to do a cry for attention, so it inflicted some sort of injury on itself, causing me to cradle it in my arms and rush it off to receive emergency attention.  Or, in actuality, it caused me to curse at it, wish it were dead, and grudgingly head out into the cold weather so it could get fixed.  Luckily for me, I had many important documents on it that I had neglected to back up, so I got to pay $100 for Future Shop to do what I should have been doing all along.  Hopefully it will not be too long before it is returned to me, apparently it will be completely wiped clean (sigh), which means I get to spend hours reinstalling everything back onto it.

After digging through my tightly condensed storage space in my apartment, I was able to find my laptop from years past, one that had gotten me through some rough times, stood beside me through the good, and now limps along without a working battery, DVD drive, and is likely to overheat if you look at it wrong or even use too many vowels or guttural sounds in a sentence.  It also likes to keep the cursor from movie while I type, so I could be typing away for a solid ten seconds before I finally get to see all of the spelling mistakes that I have to go back and sort out. 

That being said, I don't believe I have shied away from admitting my issues with stress and anxiety.  This computer, the one I am now using, is not a good one to use when one is prone to anxiety.  It is essentially the stress-out Jack-in-the-box that could pop at any time, sending the user into a fit of rage, reaching for anything that could be hurled across an apartment and causing very creative strings of profanity that really do not make any sense to anyone within earshot of the incident.  Essentially I am saying, I will try and keep the blog up to date, but there is also a possibility that my sanity will be tested in the attempt to do so.

And now, how about I actually get to a review.  For an upcoming podcast on love (because of the upcoming calendar day that declares we have to buy flowers, chocolates, and greeting cards to express our love) with a number of films that take a different look at love, I thought it would be a good idea to include an uber-generic Hollywood love tale and give it a shot.  Enter The Vow, in all of its heart wrenching, tear-jerking, glory.

I enjoy a good romantic movie from time to time, as it reminds me of what it is to be a human being, with the emotions and tensions that we get around the desire to pair up with a compatible mate, and just how strong love can be when life tests us.  A good romantic movie, however, is a rare beast, one that is elusive and skittish, hard to find in its natural habitat of Hollywood.  Most of what lurks around is far from good, movies that simulate unrealistic people, improbable relationships that would not generally last the long haul (usually based on a case of lusty pants and butterflies in the stomach), and motives that are not what genuine, authentic love is all about.  Perhaps that is because genuine, authentic love is what survives the everyday, the hum-drum in and outs of a work-a-day, routine lifestyle.  That is not the type of love people daydream about, so that is not what Hollywood produces.

Some people want to escape in the fairy tale.  The rich and beautiful life of the prince and the princess, with evil and cruel family members, or scandalous outsiders who are bent on ruining true love.  The premise of the fairy tale is what lives in most romantic movies, and it is usually as stimulating or appealing as a WWE action movie starring John Cena or Randy Orton.  The Vow, starring Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams, falls on the side of typical Hollywood romantic dribble with moments and shades of the possibility of being something better.  Unfortunately, like a disappointing pet that pees on the rug when you know it is capable of being decent and doing otherwise, good intentions and possibilities don’t win the day and we are left focusing more on the sad, smelly mess that we have on our hands.

This is a movie about a beautiful, ideal, yuppie couple who think it is an awesome idea to have sex in the middle of an intersection during a snowstorm, and the trauma that comes from their vehicle (pre-coitus) being nailed from behind by a giant salting truck.  The movie does not do well in establishing people who I can feel any kind of emotional attachment to, or sympathy for, because, well, they are almost annoyingly in love and perfect.  And, they do something as incredibly stupid as attempting to be intimate during poor visibility and nasty road conditions.  If anyone deserves to be put into a coma, it is people with such poor understanding of road safety and traffic rules.

Anywho, as the fairy tale goes, Paige (McAdams) flies through the windshield during the accident (because she took it off to get down and dirty with her husband) , is in a coma, and, when she comes to, has no memory of her husband Leo (Tatum).  Along with the overly nauseating introduction that we get to this young, perfect couple, we also get a philosophical and intellectual Hallmark style narration from Leo, a breakthrough revelation that serious moments in our lives affect us, become part of our past, and define who we are.  It is a good thing that this movie unravels the mysteries of the universe, because there is no way, whatsoever, that such thinking could have ever been considered common sense.

It is indeed true that I believe director Michael Sucsy delivered an extremely careful and overly simplistic view on love and the couple in the first act of the movie.  Luckily, the film actually attempts to look at the more realistic aspect of love, and that is the devotion that can be achieved with a good spouse and the desire humans have to do everything they can to resist losing someone special.  The majority of the film is Leo realizing that his wife remembers nothing of him at all, and having to accept that she is a very different person from when they met.  At the same time, he is forced to practice patience as he makes every attempt to help her regain her memory and fall in love with him again.

I think Tatum is what saved this movie from being an ultimate disaster for me (and I am not referring to being able to see his naked, arse, although that is what some people will be excited about).  It is a character who, after the tragedy (and not for the whole time), is someone whose motives and actions are ones that seem real, believable, and relatable.  His struggle to get back the person he once knew, but to also come to realize that his wife has been replaced by someone new, has some moments of being touching and sincere.  Tatum’s performance, though not perfect, is an indicator that there is some serious talent to be mined in him, and that his future looks good if he keeps taking different roles that stretch himself.  He is able to display some charisma and charm that is a perfect fit for who his character is, and, I will fully admit, there were times in this movie where I was rooting for him.

Tatum and the character of Leo aside (oh, and the performance of Sam Neil as Paige’s staunch lawyer father), the rest of the movie was pretty much what these types of movies are.  Sucsy seemed to play it quite safe, and to give us a lot of typical characters, moments, and struggles that we could predict would happen as soon as we learned of the plot.  There was a chance to go the route of a non-typical ending, something which would have really elevated this film further, but it is a by the numbers film which keeps it from having its own true, unique personality that could allow it to stand above the crowd.  With the tone and the feel of the film, I think an unconventional ending could have still played well with the audience who could have happily accepted an alternative concept of happiness.

This really does choose to stick to the modern day fairy tale, as it presents the prince and the princess in a modern day interpretation, and I suppose that is why ‘pass the Kleenex’ romance movies are usually about rich, perfect yuppies in loft apartments.  Yep, of course they have one of those, a big ass one, at that.  Nice, proper, stylish clothes that are not true to the actual lives of the characters.  Paige is an emerging artist (not much money there), and Leo just opened his own recording studio (not much money there), yet the characters are given the lives of opulence, even though we are tried to be told in the film that they have chosen a life of simple means.  That’s the romance.  Choosing passionate work, being paired up with a perfect soul-mate, and still being able to live in a castle.  While that is the fairy tale, I seriously don’t care if an over-privileged ‘starving artist’ has her knight in shining armour and a Colgate smile save her from her rich parents and her law degree.  I care about people who feel understandable, and that’s where this movie really falls short.

Rating – 2 out of 4 stars

12 Rounds 2: Reloaded

12 Rounds 2: Reloaded is a movie that a friend mentioned to me, and I decided to see it.  Technically, I cannot say that it was recommended to me, and so viewing it was something that I threw onto myself.  It was not even discussed with me in a positive light, and yet, I found myself carving out time in my daily routine to check it out.  There are still a lot of high calibre movies from the past year that I have been itching to see, but for some reason I chose to watch a WWE Studios movie starring the incredibly charismatic (sarcasm) professional wrestler, Randy Orton.  Well, he may be charismatic.  He burst onto the scene close to when I stopped watching regularly, and he seemed just like a lot of bulging muscles in not a lot of clothing.  Seriously, they have something called shorts.  They are comfortable, allow for athletic movement, are easy on the eye, and should always be considered over banana hammocks. 

I suppose what Orton sports are not really ‘banana hammocks,’ but more so a lycra looking version of what is commonly known as ‘tighty whities,’ but I think he does not go the route of wearing white ones.  Nope, I just Googled pictures of him, and they are black with tribal (yah, I know… he does not really look tribal himself) markings pointing towards his penis, which is thankfully concealed under the flexible, but way too tight, support of his briefs.  Actually, the man has a bunch of tribal tattoos on him, and that is something that I never understand.  I would never get Italian words tattooed on me, or even decaled on me, because I am not Italian and there would be no sane reason for me to pretend I was for some reason.   I guess that’s what Halloween is for, but a tattoo is a little too intense a costume commitment than I would like to make.  What is really up with all of these white guys buffing up and putting tribal tattoos on them?  It makes about as much sense as the fad white guys went through when they were putting Japanese characters on themselves.  Odd stuff, if you sit down and think about it.  Especially if someone is so committed to the identity ruse that they use it to highlight their junk.

Well, in 12 Rounds 2: Reloaded, Orton plays a paramedic, one who is professional and keeps an emergency med kit in his vehicle.  Even though he is supposed to be a pro, he gets quite frantic and is near flipping out while trying to assist people who were injured in a poorly coordinated stunt car crash.  This happens when he is on a date with his wife, and through all of this we learn some things about his character; he cares about people and wants to help them, he has a blond trophy wife, and he is a bad actor.  I think that’s about all we learn about him through the entire film, to be honest, I was barely paying attention by the end.

We quickly learn that Nick (Orton) has made an enemy who has seen the movie Speed way too many times, and goes Dennis Hopper all over Nick’s face by making him play a game with explosive consequences.  Dennis Hopper was a pretty sweet villain, but actor Brian Markinson was given little to nothing to go on, and thus proved to be a very sterile villain.  For some reason the baddie has his hide out in some industrial tunnel with thousands of dollars in technical equipment, while water is dripping from overhead pipes and covers the floor, leading me to question just how brilliant this man is.  I am pretty sure his living room would have been more comfortable, as well as providing easy access to a bathroom and the convenience of snacks from a nearby kitchen.

In general, I think this movie was just never, at any point in time, given a second thought and left all logic at the door.  The director, Roel Reine, seemed fine with things being as they were and really had an affection towards Speed.  Luckily, there were a number of other films that this movie took the time to steal from, such as The Dark Knight, Saw, and a Thai horror film (which is currently in the process of being remade for domestic audiences) 13 Beloved.  While I seem to be talking down about this film, I do need to admit that I have learned a few things about law enforcement.  First, I learned that after a  vehicle escapes a police road block carrying the kidnapped governor’s son (a vehicle every police car in the city is trying to capture), police officers are ordered to secure the perimeter (instead of being ordered to follow in pursuit), which makes no sense because there is no perimeter because the crime is speeding down the road away from them.  I also learned that if that high priority vehicle enters into a parking garage the police curse the situation, park their cars outside, and for some reason do not head inside.

Look, if you are looking for quality analysis on this film, I ain’t got it.  I was barely able to pay attention through the film, my brain was deteriorating as it progressed, and I think I lost my seven times table as a result.  It is not a good film, not even close to being a watchable film, what more needs to be said?  There is no critical committee that is prepared and equipped to measure and judge the merits of feces (although South Park would have you believe differently), because shit is shit.  That is all there is to it.  That’s what this film is.  It is a movie about a roid-raging, alpha male, paramedic (apparently first responders kick ass.  I saw the movie Age of Dinosaurs recently, and you would not believe what a fireman is capable of when confronted with thunder lizards) who is far from able to deliver his intense dramatic dialogue.  Save yourself, save your brain power.

Rating – 0.5 out of 4 stars

In a World...

I am sure that pretty much everybody has seen a sports underdog movie at one point or another.  There are some great ones out there, there are some awful ones out there, and representatives from both qualities have a unifying factor in that there is usually a very similar format in play, and that there is some predictability that can happen.  While the movies can cover different sports and focus on different themes, most all will take the audience through the tried and true paces that properly build the emotional response when the underdog gets their shot (sometimes successful, sometimes not) at glory.  Of course, any movie genre that relies so heavily on formula is easy target for parody.

Actress Lake Bell makes her feature film directorial and writing debut, as well as playing the lead, in the movie, In a World… which is a film that lovingly parodies the format of the sports underdog stories, but instead places it in the dog-eat-dog world of movie trailer voiceovers.  Some people may instantly roll their eyes at that premise, as it would be easy to dismiss as lampoonery, but Bell brings a lot of heart, warmth, and fun to this movie, and instead of frolicking into the realm of the absolute ridiculous, it plays it fairly straight… for the most part.

One of the large strengths of this movie was the writing, which makes me extremely excited for what Bell is able to come up with next.  The humour is well inserted into the script, and the supporting cast is magnificent in their delivery.  While we don’t get to know all of the supporting characters past a few scenes, Bell made attempts to give them all quirks and personalities that brighten up the film.  Though it is fun parody with good comedy, there are some elements of seriousness inserted into the film, which keep it from being too light and breezy.  The characters in play all have their own motivations, dysfunctions, and issues that they are trying to work through, which takes this screw-ball idea and plants it in a group of people who you can identify with and root for.  There is also a strong element of female empowerment, a subject that is lacking from many movies, and can be handled poorly when attempted (Sucker Punch is the best example of that)

One of the great dynamics of the film is between Carol (Bell) and her father, Sam (Fred Melamed), who is a legend in the voiceover world and believes that it is a boys club and that women in the industry should stick with jobs such as vocal coaching.  Instead of focusing on helping his own daughter in her career, he assists the hot up-and-comer in the field, the rich and arrogant Gustav (Ken Marino), who has a similarly chauvinistic view of women in the workplace.  As the film rolls along, we see the difference between Sam and Carol in what is important in their lives, who they choose to spend their time with, and who they spend their energy assisting.  This aspect of the story helps to elevate the film from typical comedy to properly delivering the story of the empowered female.

It would be wrong of me to talk about the supporting cast, and not bring up the fact that this film has the always innocently delivered comedic stylings of Demetri Martin, who plays a sound tech who works with Bell.  Michaela Watkins plays Carol’s sister, Dani, who has her own issues to deal with, outside those with her dad, in her marriage to Moe (Rob Coddry).  There are also appearances from Eva Longoria, Jeff Garlin, Geena Davis, and Nicker Offerman.

What really leaves this film feeling special is the boldness and joy that Bell takes in taking an oddball concept, playing with quirky characters, but also not hiding from real-life issues that keep the characters from becoming too cartoony.  It is a fine line to balance between serious and funny, one that many movies fall short one, and Bell is able to do extremely well, erring on the side of comedy over darkness.  This is what really highlights Bell’s talents and abilities, because she shows such a natural ability to tell a multi-dimensional tale, yet, as a viewer, I truly got a sense that I was also seeing a representation of her individual personality at the same time.

I have seen so many serious, emotional, and tear jerking movies in the last little while, and it was so nice to feel refreshed by being treated to a comedy that was both funny as well as being a great movie.  It is an extremely charming film that works to balance the comedic aspect of the film with an element of serious reality, but Bell knows well enough to keep from allowing things to become too deep or too dark.  This is, after all, a film about the illustrious world of voice over talent.

Short Term 12

You may have noticed, if you are one to regularly check the blog, that I did not have a post for yesterday.  While I would love to cite reasons such as being too busy thwarting an impromptu ninja assault that threatened all that is good and decent with Brantford, Ontario, I would hate to mislead you.  For myself, some days are good, and some are not.  Also in the mix are the dreaded days that are worse than the ‘some are not’, and I have been stuck with a few of those for the last week which ends up taking a bit of a toll on things like motivation and productivity.  Good and bad days are nothing foreign to all people, although they vary in intensity from person to person, and all have their various reasons for existing.  Today, I am going to look at a film from 2013 that pays attention to the emotional harm that an awful childhood can have on a person, and the people who work to try and cure the futures of those whose lives never gave them a chance for anything ‘normal,’ in Short Term 12.

The movie is around the on-goings of a foster-care facility, in which Grace (Brie Larson) is a young supervisor, working to ensure that the kids at the facility have a safe experience, which is her primary task.  Within that, her coworkers and herself, out of bleeding hearts and love for the teens, work to establish relationships, skills, and confidence in the residents, with genuine care and desire that these people will be able to break out of the issues of their past and upbringing and achieve fulfilling lives.  A young girl named Jayden (Kaitlyn Dever), with a history of bouncing around from group home to group home, presents a challenge to Grace, who does all that she can to create a bond with the young and troubled girl.  Also working at the facility is Mason (John Gallagher Jr.), who is the boyfriend of Grace, and shows and undying love to the residents.

The film is a sad, joyous, hurtful, encouraging, traumatic, and inspiring tale of the scars that can be left on people when their childhoods rob them of any possibility of innocence and a healthy mental grasp on reality.  The film flows well from the characters we meet, who are created not just to be scenery, but to have their own, personal identities, dysfunctions, and traits.  The characters are created so well that there is a little bit in some (or each) character that can resonate and hit home with us, whether for good or bad, and that is what creates the foundation for this film.  We see these people through the eyes of Grace and Mason, and we want to love them, see them grow, and become free of the unfair constraints that were forced on them from factors beyond their control.

Grace and Mason also have characters that are well developed, and it becomes clear as to why the job they are doing is so important to them, and why they are willing to sacrifice anything they can on the possibility that one of the residents in their care may succeed at life.  Grounding the characters are dynamic performances, especially on the side of Brie Larson.  While I should be spending this time right here remaining critical of the film and nothing outside of it, I cannot help but vent my frustrations that this young woman was not given an Oscar nomination for Lead Actress, and it is a crime that she was not even considered to be a close contender for a nomination.  Her performance in this movie is so layered and nuanced that we see Grace as both an adult and a child, someone who has a personal history of hurt who is hiding it when she needs to be confronting it.  She becomes, at times, appearing as a messed up teen who is in charge of messed up teens, and the only thing that separates them is her job.

The movie’s cinematography was very well done, with the framing and tones of the shots adding to the emotional atmosphere of the film.  Destin Cretton, the director, moves the film along at the perfect pace, never rushing the build towards scenes, and never cutting emotional moments too short that they do not have enough opportunity to properly sink in.  It is because of his storytelling ability that our hearts become invested in this world as much as they do, and he shows a wonderful grasp on leading actors in subtleties.

I will completely admit that I cried in this film, but as well, I want to quickly say that this is not one of those movies that sets out to make people cry as their end game.  Emotional destruction is not the goal of this movie, telling a deep tale about one of the most heartwrenching aspects of life is what they are attempting.  In that process, we feel the pain, but we also feel encouraged, that change and growth are possible not just for teens, but for anybody.  We feel joy that the cycles of life are able to be broken and that anybody can have a chance at an enjoyable life out from the shadows of childhood torment.

For people who have personal histories of abusive childhoods, this movie may hit home very deeply, but I believe it is still worth the trek into personal darkness.  As I mentioned, the film is not to bring us to a point of crying and sadness, it is to create a wide range of emotions, with many of those being positive.  Like a good counselling session, sometimes you need to get through the bad to leave feeling good.  The movie is the first feature film of director Destin Cretton, and thanks to him we have a tear-jerker that leaves us with a smile.

Rating - 4 out of 4 stars