PRE-REVIEW: Batman V Superman - Will It Be Everything That I Have Been Dreading?

Movies like this one don't come along very often.  By saying that, I mean movies that I really don't want to see because I am sure that I will hate it, but at the same time I really want to see it because I am hoping that it will prove me wrong.  There was very little that I liked about Zack Snyder's Man of Steel, and the over bloated cast and run time of Batman V Superman makes me wonder just how coherent the story is going to be.  If we add on the fact that Warner Bros and DC Comics are years behind where Disney and Marvel are in terms of super hero shared universes, this film could be looking to cover too much distance to allow for some catch up.

With all of that in mind, and the fact that I have been having nightmares about watching this movie (this is not a joke or hyperbole.  I have been having literal nightmares.  The most recent one was a few nights ago when I was forced to watch this film), I have decided to write a review of it without having even seen it.  That's right, sight unseen, and a full review.

I will throw out a few disclaimers, however.  After I have seen the movie tonight, I will write another review tomorrow.  This means if I have to eat crow, I will gladly do it.  As I said earlier,  I am hoping to be proven wrong about this movie.  Secondly, I have read no reviews for Batman V Superman.  I have also read no synopsis for it and my only knowledge of the film is what I have seen in the trailers.  I will base my review on what I know of Snyder's film style, the direction that they seem to be taking with this universe from Man of Steel, and what I believe the studio will be attempting to gain from the launch of this film.

So, here goes nothing.  Let's see just how correct I will be with my crystal ball of scepticism.

What can I say that's positive about Batman V Superman?  Well, the fact that it is over and done with is about the best that I can do.  Sure it wasn't all bad, but the fact that I won't have to relieve this over bloated, CGIed beast ever again is the ray of sunlight that never was to be seen in an overly gloomy and grim movie.

When Christopher Nolan made the Dark Knight trilogy, he focused it on being real world and dark.  It was absolutely perfect, considering the fact that Batman exists as an ordinary man (not needing to come from a world where gamma radiation causes appendages to become all elastic and spiders bite people giving them super cooties).  Thus, the real world application works.  He is also a tormented man, and less of a super hero.  He is a vigilante, which means the dark tone allows the character to toss and turn over the lines that should and shouldn't be crossed.  Just because it worked in that wildly successful franchise does not mean that it is the solution for everything.  It worked because it was true to its narrative, and that is why Batman V Superman fails.

There is nothing here that is true to its narrative, because it fails to have a proper and streamlined story.  At its barebones, there is something here that could have resembled a quality film.  The opposites that are the Caped Crusader and the Man of Steel lead to some fascinating quandaries, but the scope of that is lost in the screenplay which wants to be nothing more than a spring board for an entire universe of franchises instead of focusing on the title characters.  The script is messy and jumps around way too often, a bi-product of trying to get people all the way down the list to Aquaman in there.

The really frustrating part of this experience is that Snyder seems to have learned very little from the criticisms that came from Man of Steel.  What that movie missed was heart and personality.  It chose to use CGI massiveness over character.  It also kept actors from being energetic.  How the hell do you have Amy Adams in a movie and her performance come across as bland?  That is a question I will be asking myself for many years, as I never thought that this enchanting talent could ever be forgettable in a role.  Lastly, Man of Steel opted for having a forty minute battle at the end that wasn't used to tell any story, but merely existed to allow buildings to get smashed in enormous ways (which would have killed millions of people in the process, something that Snyder and Superman seemed oblivious to).   'Bigger is better' seemed to be the motto of that film.

Well, here we are almost three years later and very little has changed.  Jesse Eisenberg attempts to bring some personality into his role, but there are few people beyond him that appear to be allowed to attempt such treachery to what should be such a somber film.  Remember, it is all about being gritty and dark.  This leads to a lot of soap opera-ish looks from our on screen talent as they stand under dim lighting.

The special effects do look quite nice at times, but the problem here is that we are exposed to them for way too long.  Snyder once again decides that there must be an exorbitant amount of action, and that it must be big and destructive.  Once again (boy, I am getting tired of saying that), it looses its appeal and effectiveness.  The key is that you don't want sensory adaptation to set in on the audience. You want things to last just long enough to pack the punch and then put them somewhere else.  With Batman V Superman, eventually numbness sets in and each sequence begins feeling like the last.  Buildings are destroyed, civilians must be killed, and there is a complete lack of awareness for the fact that story trumps action.

I bash on it, yes, but it is not the worst movie of the year.  It is simply a movie that is trying to be all things to all people to set up all franchises to make a lot of money.  It is complete studio meddling here, much like what killed Spiderman last go around.  If they kept it as just a story about the two title characters, it would have been a lot more palatable.  You may as well just walk out on the ending.  Spoiler alert, it only functions for the purposes of making more movies, not for satiating the audience.  Oh, and Wonder Woman is barely in the movie.

Rating - 1.5 out of 4 Stars