A Post of Procrastination

Staring at a blank page is not very fun.  Starting out with one can be the beginning of the most lush adventure to undertake, the empty canvas being nothing but a playground for possibilities and exploration.  However, when the writing slows down and the looming blankness of a page overtakes the feeling of accomplishment of how you got there, it loses the fun.  The excitement is gone.  Exploration becomes a long forgotten promise, and all that comes is frustration.

Currently I am sitting in neutral in the third act of a book that I started last spring.  Sixty six thousand words, an assortment of characters, the lines of morality being blurred, decisions and instinct leading to misdeeds and conflict... and now I am stuck.  What do they do next?  I know what the tension of the story is, but how do they move towards any kind of resolution.

I will admit that I don't necessarily have an ending in mind when I sit down and begin a story.  That comes later as I get to know the characters.  'Trust the characters,' that's what I believe.  As the plot, to use the over applied cliche, thickens, I get to know what the characters would do and the story writes itself.  I feel like a spectator who gets to watch it all unfold first hand as it plays out and the words form together into something coherent.  At least I hope it's coherent.

This story is different.  I know who the main players are, I know how they would respond to situations, and I know what those situations need to be.  Getting them there, though, is turning out to be extremely tricky.  I am a blindfolded bus driver that is trying to let people off at the correct stops.  Instead of being able to just go ahead and do the task, I have done the safe thing and pulled over to the side of the road until I can see again.

But the safe thing to do is not always the best.  What if it turns out that I am just waiting for an idea that I will try and force and pry my characters into?  Then my story turns into the worst kind of schlock, when the people involved only exist to advance the plot.  Really, I would rather ingest the kitchen cleaning products that I just used (a perfect method and excuse for procrastination) than ruin my characters.  I would rather walk away from the story completely than destroy what has developed naturally throughout the tale.

As it is, the page I am working on is two paragraphs long and has been that way for a while.  I know that soon I am going to just have to roll the dice and try something, knowing that I will be able to go back and alter it later.  Until I take a gamble with what I have started, it will never be anything more than an incomplete dream.